A Family of Three

With reflexive shame,

I awake with tumultuous blame.

A glance down at my stomach,

Begins my heart’s plummet.

Feeling like a reprobate

For reclaiming my own fate,

Ensues the daily convulsion

Of my bodily repulsion.

With a listless sophistry,

I attempt to break the mystery,

That is mental declaration of war,

Against the form I should adore.

So, I feign to be in awe,

Of the nature that I draw,

While internally I am in throes

Awaiting a mental blow.

When I feed hand to mouth,

Knowing I was once in drouth,

I cannot seem to shake,

The feeling of profligate.

When I see women like me,

Strewn throughout TV,

I feel like an outcast thrown aside,

Because my form is too wide.

When I simply use the toilet,

I do not want to spoil it;

Desperately, I avoid the glass

That thrusts me into lower-class.

I feel entirely estranged,

To a body that has changed,

My demons, myself, and me,

A family of three.